Reviews

The Covenant

1

Described by its makers as this generation’s answer to The Lost Boys, The Covenant is actually more like Harry Potter meets My Chemical Romance. Renny Harlin – the man who couldn’t make Satan scary in Exorcist: The Beginning – delivers a truly awful story about four teenage warlocks in a Massachusetts boarding school. It’s essentially The Craft with Y chromosomes, the good-looking heroes (led by Sky High’s Steven Strait) cursed with “important” supernatural powers that let them cheat at pool and lift up babes’ skirts. It’s borderline brain-dead and all dressed up with some stylised Goth trappings, flash cars and a surprising amount of latent homoeroticism (communal male showers and gratuitous Speedo scenes alert). Harlin botches every scare and trips over the script’s endless plot exposition, yet still has the cheek to set up a sequel-chasing finale. A right load of old warlocks.

 

Verdict:

NO VERDICT

Film Details

  • 12A
  • UK Theatrical Release Date: December 8th 2006

User Reviews

    • barnabythefilmviewer.blogspot.com

      Mar 29th 2009, 20:25

      1

      Some trashy movies can be fun. This awful excuse for a horror flick doesn't even manage that. Pathetic and unconvincing (and that's being kind), this is a straight-to-video mess that somehow bled onto the cinema screen. The deadly dull action takes place within the Ipswich Colony of Massachusetts where four guys continue the line of witchcraft that has stayed in their families since 1692. However, history has it there was a fifth family which shared their powers, but had been banished for craving more. The simply appalling screenplay ticks off all the trash-horror must-haves: Bad CGI spiders, girls in danger, brainless fight-outs and ill-judged homoeroticism (hang on, that last one's a bit unusual). Oh yes, the equally bad direction camps it up, and mingled with the dire acting talent on display (with Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford underused), the result is a poisonous mix of shoddy filmmaking. Stay clear.

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