A bit like The Da Vinci Code re-written by Inspector Morse creator Colin Dexter, The Oxford Murders is ideal for anyone campaigning for ITV dramas to take their bow at the movies. Let’s face it, that’s a small movement... This odd, dull little film stars Elijah Wood as Martin, an American student who’s come to Oxford to do maths under John Hurt’s mardy genius Arthur Seldom, only for a murder to balls everything up. Aside from one cracking long take that catches all potential suspects in its frame prior to the titular act, Spaniard Álex de la Iglesia’s English debut lacks both intrigue and suspense, with acting that’s often more Hollyoaks than Hollywood. And that’s before we even mention embarrassing Russian stereotype Podorov (Burn Gorman)… If this was a degree, it would barely scrape a Third.