10,000 BC (12)

Telling the story of woolly-mammoth hunter D’Leh (Steven Strait)’s quest from ice-capped mountains to cliché-swept Egypt to save his dreadlocked sweetheart Evolet (Camilla Belle) from slave traders, Roland Emmerich’s epic is so history-ignorant, it’s a surprise the hero doesn’t grow wings to make his trip easier. Wildly derivative of Gibson’s Apocalypto, 10,000 BC isn’t just inaccurate; it’s impossibly dull. No likeable characters, duff CGI creatures, no decent DVD extras... bury it in a time capsule as a warning to future filmmakers.

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