Stallone is a no-nonsense super cop...

Cobra review

“Crime is a disease. Meet the cure,” runs the tagline.

Yes, we’re back in Reagan’s America, when men were men, Brigitte Nielsen was still “natural” and action movies resembled Nazi gay porn.

Stallone is the übermensch cop who must overcome a murderous cult and the spineless downtown pencil-pushers fretting their pansy-asses over “due process”. And he does it with infinite ammunition and a matchstick jammed in his teeth.

It’s ludicrous and fascist as hell but if you’ve had a few and your chums are round, you can double the star rating.

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