Oh dear. Remember how funny Scary Movie was? Not very, right? Thankfully, Date Movie comes billed as being from “two of the six writers” from the Scream-riffer – affording you ample warning to keep a wide, wide berth. And, with ‘talent’ reduced by four, the humour’s diluted into... Fat suits! Fart noises! Gross stuff! It’s about as funny as having mustard rubbed into your eyeballs.
The random, frat-boy “spoofing” of every ’90s rom-com only makes you wish you were watching them instead, while its hyperactive tour of dead-eyed, MTV celeb-reality culture doesn’t so much lampoon as copy it – with extra penis gags. In the country of the bland, the one-eyed trouser snake is king.