Despite being two of the world’s biggest forms of mass entertainment, footy and film have always struggled to gel. Goal!, though, runs its little legs off trying to make the opposites attract – hauling you into a Rocky-lite story and capturing the faded dreams of lager swilling, Sky Sports-watching males across the land.

Danny Cannon’s tale of LA-based immigrant Santiago Munez (Kuno Becker) being plucked from the streets to join Newcastle United is as predictable as the outcome of an England penalty shootout. But it’s not nearly as disappointing, with cameos from the game’s leading lights (the highlight being a spectacularly wooden turn by David Beckham) and doctored footage of actual Premiership games adding a previously unseen level of authenticity. Where Goal! fouls, however, is in ‘Santy’s’ bullet-fast rise from struggling rookie to Magpie saviour – all within the final three games of the season.

DVD Extras:

Audio commentary by director Danny Cannon
Behind The Pitch featurette
Golden Moments Of The FIFA
World Cup featurette
Munez +10 featurette

On paper the extras may look impressive, but they lack top-class players. The oddly titled Behind The Pitch is a revealing Making Of, but The Beautiful Game quickly grates as various Yanks extol the virtues of football (with no mention of the ‘S’ word, thankfully...). The Cannon-led commentary is workmanlike, while the two FIFA-related extras should have been left on the bench. Star performer? The Goal! II trailer, where Munez mixes it with the Galactico-ranked Real Madrid. Do we smell more dazzling thesp-work from Becks?