Rob Zombie’s remake of the most sacred of slashers might have rocked the box office, but it fundamentally fails to grasp what made its classic template tick. This heavy-handed do-over tacks on a back-story full of misplaced sympathy for maniac Michael Myers; a crappy childhood’s no excuse for murder, Mr Zombie! Fifteen years and one steroidal growth spurt later, it reverts to a stab-for-stab retread of John Carpenter’s original vision – efficient but redundant.


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