Guy Ritchie’s flash, vacuous, self-serving direction is exposed in this cataclysmic adaptation of Lina Wertmüller’s Italian allegory.
Madonna plays a spoilt bitch whose cruise holiday hits the rocks when she’s washed up on a deserted Greek island with Adriano Giannini’s Adonis dogsbody. One threat of rape later and it’s sweet, sweet love.
If this is Ritchie’s love letter to The Missus, God only knows what he sees in her. It’s like eroticising a reptile. With any threat of expression iced by Botox, it’s a charmless, hollow and amateurish turn. Given lines like: “Show me your tits”, Giannini doesn’t fare much better. Bask in its badness, but heckle the misogynism.