Lord, save us from actors who want to show ‘range’. So, Eric Bana breaks through as a charismatic psycho in Andrew Dominik’s brilliant Chopper. HE MUST CHOOSE ONLY DULL ROLES FROM NOW ON. Munich aside, the one-time Aussie stand-up delivers sulks rather than performances – a pity, given how vibrant an actor he can be. Here he’s a hunky Henry VIII who’s torn – well, gently stretched – between Natalie Portman (Anne, the Boleyn you know) and Scarlett Johansson (Mary, that other one). Cue lots of scowling, pouts and over-eee-nun-cccc-iation as the Young American Hotties try to not only play English (they aren’t bad) but against type: Portman as a scheming sexpot, Johansson as a wallflower (they are bad). Scarlett should know better after Girl With A Pearl Earring, while Last King Of Scotland scripter Peter Morgan can only really count this a success if he was aiming to nail a Tudor Emmerdale.