"Clumsy and confused lonely heart seeks meaning, purpose, drama and tone. Sense of humour non-existent. Time wasters preferred." If Unconditional Love put an ad in the classifieds, that's how it would read. Blame Muriel's Wedding helmer PJ Hogan for this uneven hom-com, in which Kathy Bates, seemingly intent on spreading a little more Misery, takes on the role of chief muckspreader.
The erstwhile Oscar-winner plays an obsessive fan of a Liberace-flavoured light entertainer (Jonathan Pryce), whose true calling is revealed during a posthumous clearing of his closet.
The nasty skeleton that emerges - his former boyfriend Rupert Everett - subsequently becomes Bates' new soulmate in the first of several heavy-handed plot developments.
Along with Everett, Pryce and Dan Aykroyd - all of whom should know better - Bates spends most of Unconditional Love trying desperately to find the heart of the picture, only to end up clutching its spleen, intestine and appendix. Unrequited and unsatisfying.