Heralded as a gay Wicker Man, Unhappy Birthday is more interested in its kinky ménage à trois than it is in matching the elemental punch of the Ed Woodward classic.
“This is mental,” breathes Johnny (Jonathan Keane) as he and mates Rick (David Paisley) and Sadie (Christina De Vallee) wind up on a creepy remote island. “It’s terrifying,” squirms Sadie.
Disappointingly, Birthday isn’t actually either, more a noble but naff mood piece that plays up every ‘weird island folk’ cliché in the book.
Pinching ruthlessly from other (superior) films, it at least rustles up an inventively horrible fate for one of its doomed leads. Unhappy Birthday? Unhappy audience.