In a nutshell:
JJ Abrams boldly goes and reboots a franchise by dumbing it down and speeding it up, with sexy results.
The Future Begins.
Bones: 'Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.'
A young farmboy, Luke Skywalker, sorry, James T Kirk, looks to the stars and dreams of adventure. He meets a wise older man who reminds him of the great man his father was and talks him into following in his footsteps and joining the rebellion, sorry, Starfleet, where he can fulfill his destiny.
Meanwhile, due to some time-travel shenanigans, the evil Romulan captain, Nero has captured his arch enemy, Spock (the old one from the original movies).
Nero forces Spock to watch, helpless, as his home planet of Vulcan is obliterated with Nero's new super-weapon: some red liquid!
Thanks to a chance encounter with a grumpy, world-weary doctor, Bones, the young Kirk manages to get on board the USS Enterprise, where he meets up with all the familiar Star Trek crew - albeit a bit younger and with fewer dimensions.
Kirk clashes heads with young Spock who, inexplicably, casts him off the ship and onto a hostile Ice Planet, where, in a cave, he meets the old Spock, from the future.
Old Spock knows how to save the day, but they’re both stuck on the planet.
Luckily, another ‘chance’ encounter introduces Kirk to Scotty, who might know how to get them back onboard the Enterprise.
Shaky-cam heroics, noisy explosions and lots of lens flare ensues.
Written by: Fortunesfool