The Heavy (2009)

Former boxer turned actor Gary Stretch (the leader of the local thugs in Dead Man’s Shoes) falls flat on his face in this ropey gangland drama.

As Mitchell ‘Boots’ Mason, an ex-con taking on One Last Job (ho-hum…), Stretch attempts to out-glower bent copper Vinnie Jones, Stephen Rea, Christopher Lee, Adrian Paul and, er, Lee from Blue.

A dreary tale of shooters and stitch-ups padded out by sped-up footage of Piccadilly Circus set to pumping house music, this triumph of casting over quality might have passed muster in the early noughties next to Brit-bombs like Rancid Aluminium and Circus. But not anymore.

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