Echoes of Gladiator abound in this second-rate swords-and-sandals adventure. But where Ridley Scott’s epic had Russell Crowe as father to a murdered son, director Doug Lefler’s clichéd knock-off has Mr Darcy playing nanny to the kid from Love Actually. Colin Firth’s general Aurelius is tasked with protecting Rome’s teenage emperor Romulus (Thomas Sangster) when Peter Mullan’s wig-wearing conqueror Odoacer hits town. Along for the ride are a grab-bag of jobbing Brits, including Ben Kingsley (clothes by Gandalf, voice and tan by Tom Jones) and Rome’s Kevin McKidd, both of them hammier than the deli counter at Tesco.
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