It’s one of those endless pub conversations: why aren’t there any British martial arts flicks? Now we know the answer: it’s because they’d be crap. Scotland’s first and (please, dear Lord) last chopsocky movie sees director Richard Jobson (16 Years of Alcohol) dragging Kevin McKidd and Dominic Monaghan into the near future where rival karate gangs go toe to toe. Turning Glasgow into a shimmering tomorrowland, The Purifiers’ HD camerawork looks the business, but the beat-’em-up scenes are the martial arts equivalent of dad dancing. Hey, Jobo: go watch The Matrix again, ’cos you don’t know kung-fu…
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